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Gay HORROR-SCOPES!

Wednesday, February 5th, 2014

Aquarius: You’re always seeking change Aquarius aren’t you? Yes, you, our little friend of the shifting tides. Like the rise and fall of the seas you’ve been be dependable, predictably keeping us on our toes day after day, week after week, month after month and year after year. This week per usual you’re going through yet another transformation. The cold winter has you chomping at the bit for a big change and we’re pretty certain you’ll make that happen. Taking the initiative has never been a problem for you Aqua Man. Over the next few days take the time to evaluate what you want and what you have, after doing so you’ll find something that is going to spark a new interest and ignite a passionate response. It could be in the bedroom, the kitchen, at work or at play. What it WILL be is going to surprise you as much as it will surprise us!

 

Pisces: Stop worrying about other people’s feelings for a change. Last week you were a sad little fish because you try so hard to help others and build them up that you forget to take care of yourself. Some of these guys you do NOT need in your life. They’re only out to take advantage of you. It’s time to take a good hard look at who you do want around, and drop the others like a nasty meth habit. Now’s not the time to be Mr. Nice Guy, sometimes Dolores, you’ve got to be a bitch! For starters you need to learn that you can walk away. No matter how much that might appear to hurt the individual involved it really wont, they’re a tough cookie and when it’s time will thank you for drop kicking their sorry ass to the gutter so they can learn to handle their own issues. Take yourself out for some quality “me time” too everyone needs to work on their relationship with themselves from time to time. Another thing, we know you’re always wondering about romance (it’s in your nature) so here’s a tasty tid-bit for ya. Once this cloud has passed and you’re back to your sunny self you’re going to find that you are not the only one basking in the glow.

Aries: Tomorrow is a brand new day, and we’re going to say that every day this week Aries; a bright, new, fantastic day to continue on your quest to cram as much bullshit and cock down other’s throats. Yes, we know all about you, you stubborn horned creature, always having to be the first in line, always the best dressed, always the best dancer, always the hardest drinker (it was instagramed). We love your ability to take the lead, it’s true. Where would we be without you? We need someone to guide us along like the lemmings we are. With that fiery will of yours it’s no wonder you are always on top, getting exactly what you want and deserve! It’s time to keep plugging along Aries because next week things are not going to go your way. Our advice, get to the clinic. That trick you picked up, that prized piece of ass from out of town every guy at the club was trying to get up on… he wasn’t travelling alone… Oh, and maybe it’s time to rethink some of your pathetic pick up lines; that Virgo from Saturday wasn’t buying any of it.

Taurus: You bull you! Your sexual prowess this week has been EPIC and it’s not ending anytime soon! You’ve been stagnant for far too long and that fantastic rod off 100% man meat is meant to be used to abuse! As for those Taurus bottoms out there. Good for you! That tight hole is really getting a work out these days and boy did it need it! We’re sorry about that dry spell you guys have been going through, but no worries, looking forward into next week your bodies are going to be treated like the amusement parks they deserve to be. Whip out your dick in a public restroom and get sucked off, offer up that puckering, pink starfish to that muscle daddy in the corner. The world is your oyster and there are plenty of pearl necklaces to go around! Get em gurl!

 

Gemini: It’s NOT that you ARE a two-faced, cheap ass, dirty bottomed, VD ridden, common man-whore; it’s just that you ARE a two-faced, cheap ass, dirty bottomed, VD ridden, common man-whore. You’ve been up to no good lately, have you, no? Oh really, lets recap. Actually, let’s not recap. You really need to tell your boyfriend about it. We were there, we saw, we were disgusted… and mildly turned on. The best way to deal with the situation is to stop hiding your other side from your loving other half. He’ll understand, maybe even go shopping with you to pick up the supplies (i.e. diapers and wipes) even that formula you like so much. So look, if you want to act like a baby about it, go ahead but our advice is to grow up for a minute and tell that man of yours you were in the wrong and need a spanking… Chances are he’s going to give you a good one. And one more thing, maybe dating another Gemini isn’t the best idea? Mr. Man has got some kinky ideas in his closet too my dear and it smells like leather… Ready for that Vegan pussy boy? ARE YOU?!?!

 

 

Cancer: You’ve been so kind, and your selflessness is finally going to be rewarded! We know the New Year has been a little rough for ya. Sure your job sucks, none of the hot guys on Scruff have messaged you back and you’ve been feeling down, but don’t! You’ve got plenty going on. Think about it, your gym routine has really been working out, your cum gutters have never looked better, that case of backne is clearing up nicely and your mom did send you that thoughtful care package with fresh tightie-whities. Now, now don’t look down your nose at those classic Jockey’s just yet. Mom may have sent a size too small but look at it this way, your package is going to look fucking fantastic! Turn around those feelings of embarrassment. Yeah, your mom sent you some manties, big deal, use this unexpected gift to your advantage. We say rip open that plastic, slip into those classic briefs and gut that tight toned ass down to underwear night. You might surprise yourself Cancer. Keep your eyes open for a furry shy boy. He’s right over there, all you have to do is say hi. Good luck stud, this is going to be the start of something good!

 

 

Leo: A word of warning this week our handsome lion. Your crowning glory won’t save you this time. Keep your eyes peeled and your mind alert Samson, there’s an angry twink not unlike Delilah who’s been watching your every move. She’s a jealous little queen with a heart of stone. Your best bet is to not let your vanity get the best of you. That healthy growth of fur is sexy as all hell. Keep the razor at bay even if someone you think you love tells you otherwise (she’s lying when she says he’s into “smooth”, it’s always the hairless ones that get the most jealous when they’re after the same rugged beast you’ve got your eyes fixed on. One more thing, don’t you dare touch that bush. Sure it looks like you have a wolverine trapped in your jock but we’re telling you now, next week those pubes you couldn’t wait to sprout during puberty that have now grown into a manly display of virility are going to tip the scales in your favor!

Virgo: Cluck, cluck, where do we start with you. Jesus Christ! If there was a better time to let go, it’s next week. This week it’s all about holding onto those threads you’ve had in a death grip since… well, since you were born we guess. All that effort you have been putting into your job has not been for nothing. Big things are coming your way! And as always, not the ones you’d expect princess. Someone at the workplace has had his sights set on your uptight ass for quite some time and if you can manage to get out of your own psychiatric ward of a head for two fucking seconds you might actually get yourself some tail! Ugh, you’re thinking about it already aren’t you? STOP! No it’s not that guy, nor is it the tall drink of water you ant down your throat (yes, we’ve seen you, you’re not so subtle little miss “I’m always in control of everything”). We’ll make this easy. He’s the one you never expected! Ha, we just love fucking with you Virgo, there’s really nothing like screwing with your messed up little mind. Now go get yourself balls deep in some ass, you’re going to feel so much better after you blow a load or three. We know you.

Libra: Our dilemma with you this week Libra is how you plan on balancing the scales when it comes to your outrageous existence. We all know that all work and no play makes Libra a sad boy, so it’s a good thing you’ve managed to combine both work and play in your own life. We’re proud of you! But we’re feeling that maybe you’ve been letting one scale become slightly more burdened than the other. That’s right… you’re reaching that hypothetical idiom “the bugle bead that broke Cher’s back” so let’s “Turn Back Time” here and see just went wrong last week that is now effecting this week. Was it the wig or was it the pumps? Both! Libra, if you want your career as a full-fledged drag diva to be a success you have got to STOP with the shitty, poor quality, Halloween Adventure wigs! Maybe your first foray into the world of gender illusion involved one. We don’t care! You are a grown ass man in a dress, get a good wig. Now for those shoes, yes it’s hard to find pretty Cha-Cha heels in your size Dawn, but they have got to go. It’s time to invest pretty lady and not just in booze, if you want balance in your life you need to make the necessary changes and wear quality heels.

Scorpio: Fiend. We love you and we hate you at the same time. Why are you so difficult? The coming days are at the height of economic and professional fertility for you. As for that work project? Now is the time to show off what you’ve been working on over the past months. Plant your seed Scorpio. Actually, get your mind out of the gutter Scorpio, now is not the time for your barebacking sex-capade fantasies (this is why we hate you sometimes pervert). We’re talking about doing something that will benefit you in upcoming months and through the year. It’s time to go deep, penetrate further into your colleagues than ever before and push the seed that has been aching to be planted so deep into them they can really feel it. We know they haven’t said it, but they’re begging for it, just don’t sell yourself short. Each day this week will thrust you further and further towards your professional goal. But you have to ease into it. Just remember to breathe deeply and stay focused. You’ll know when the time is right to give them what they want so you can get what you want. Don’t worry you’ll come out on top.

Sagittarius: Maybe you’ve been thinking that you’ve set your sights a little too high there Sag? Perhaps doubting your skills as an archer who always bags his prey? A little self doubt and insecurities will do you a world of good this week Sagittarius. You’re usual self confidence is going to get a little beating and shortly thereafter a boost! Don’t let it go to your head Mister because if you do, this romance you’ve been hoping for will end in flames. Yes, he’s finally going to notice you this week and why? because you haven’t been a smug, stuck up, bastard trying to impress him with your looks and superior intellect. (Btw you’re not that hot and you are not that smart and not nearly good enough for him. You’ve been thinking that haven’t you? Good, because you’re not.) Good luck, this will be a really great learning experience for you!

 

 

 

 

Capricorn: You’ve been working so hard on your resolutions that we think it’s time you go a little wild. We realize it’s hard for a conservative, well spoken individual such as yourself let go of his inhibitions but lately, you’ve been downright DULL! You look great, you feel great, your job is great, your apartment’s great, everything is great, great, great; except you’ve been feeling a little down lately, haven’t you? It’s ok, we know sweetie honey. What has been missing? Well this week it is up to you to find out! We suggest that this week you work your ass off at both the workplace and the gym then go out and hit the town on the weekend. How about Friday (after a quick workout) you head home, strip down, give yourself a lil trim, take a hot shower, put on that favorite stainless steel cockring, slip on your jock strap, jeans and a tee and head out for a fantastic night of hedonism. We know you’re not the type to randomly hook up so call one of your buddies (we know you have them) to go out with you. Have a good time, let loose, flirt, and when it’s time to go you’ve got your pal, who is by now MORE than randy, to go home with and fuck. Now that’s just our suggestion. You could always cruise the bars or bathhouse, call a “massage therapist” or find someone on Grindr, Scruff or GROWLr… We don’t care. Just get your freak on!

Happy Thanksgiving From GayHotMovies.com & The Otter!

Thursday, November 28th, 2013

Damn, The Otter did it again! Check out his latest dirty sketch for the holiday. Each one keeps getting better and better and I can’t wait to show you the one I’m working on for Christmas. It’s his best one yet!

Happy Thanksgiving From GayHotMovies.com & The Otter!

Click to enlarge for a sexxxy desktop background!

Have  great holiday, eat lots of food, drink lots of booze and fuck those calories away!

What I jerked To

Thursday, November 14th, 2013

As a follow up to the post for a few days ago, here’s what I used to jerk too so many years ago!  I swear, International Male and all those other catalogs were totally every young gay man’s spank material. I remember a constant fear every day of not getting home before my parents so I could grab it out of the mail before they got it, weekends were worse! I still can’t believe I never got caught with it.

The Otter called me up to his desk to show me this and I had to post! He left me a little note highlighting the lacy panty section cause I mean really, lacy thongs on a muscle man is SUCH the look!

 




Drunk & High, at home yes.. at work.. not so much

Wednesday, November 13th, 2013

The US population is okay with getting drunk and high. According to the Huffington Post, 64% of surveyed Americans think it is wrong for a company to fire a person because they smoke weed or get drunk in their off hours. Of course this got us thinking, what does the gay community feel about this subject? We are going to perform our own poll to determine just what our viewers think of these issues. Please vote below:

What do you think?

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