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The Erotic, Crazy, Freakshow Adventures Of Hercules In A Nut Shell

Thursday, July 2nd, 2015

Shit is about to get weird. The Erotic Adventures of Hercules is a film you are not going to find very easily anywhere but GayHotMovies.com. Believe me, I checked. It’s not even available at Bijou, its own provider! So let me tell you I was just about as excited to find out about this film as I was discovering my first gay porn magazine many moons ago. Why, you may ask? Because it’s a classic, and it’s fucking weird; don’t let this soft-core box cover fool you.

Just look at these opening credits. Seriously, it’s like Clash of the Titans and Jason and the Argonauts. I’m surprised there wasn’t any wacky claymation minotaurs or anything. Once the credits are over, the audience is transported to a rocky beach where the story begins. I think the narrator didn’t get the narration part in The Ten Commandments starring Charlton Heston. That man was hot-no wonder Anne Baxter was always moaning “Moses, Moses, Moses.” Jeez Louise! And moving on…

So we’ve got Hercules, the ocean, and animal hide loin cloths. Cut to a palace. Here we meet a super creepy old dude with a bucket of KFC who is actually King Casmer and he’s got some damn cute boys at his fingertips. Check out the one with the fan. Although it’s just beginning, I ask myself “When was this made?” It looks like a Rodgers and Hammerstein Cinderella made for TV in the sixties. The colors are wonderful!

Nothin’ like a bucket-a-chicken and some head from one of your slaves, eh? I’m getting kind of hungry. Spoiler alert, there is a lot of “soft serve” in this flick. The king doesn’t really get hard, but still cums buckets in the boy’s mouth who then spits it into a chalice. This blowjob really did amp up the perversion rating of The Erotic Adventures of Hercules.

As the narrator continues, King Casmer is going to send a young prince to tempt his arch rival Hercules and destroy him. We meet the prince as he and the king drink some wine. He’s kind of cute-blonde hair, mustache, blue eyes. He kind of looks like Luke Harding aka Aden Stone? Of course he’ll be handsomely compensated for his troubles with jewels and treasure to destroy Herc.

Luke’s better looking.

What a lovely soundtrack. I really want to know what beach was this filmed on. Sure Prince, just wash up nekked on the rocky shore, Hercules will rescue you. Ah, what a sweet, smooth, nubile youth. Oh so succulent; just smack him in the face to wake him up. Stop using your hand and use your dick Herc! Oh, thanks for saving me! Back in Hercules’ lair, Prince sets to work “I mean I just regained consciousness, but let me caress your muscular body and suck yo dick!” There is a lot of static in the soundtrack at this point, but it is so worth listening to. Who got paid to dub this freakshow? Hercules kind of has this whole fifties bodybuilder look going on, like he should be in Physique Pictoral, and this pleases me.

To mention the soundtrack once again, this is the kind of music you frolic to and the voice over dubbing is so sensationally bad. In this scene I’ll admit it’s not really the best blowjob I’ve ever seen. Hercules does cum in the prince’s mouth, but what is with all this soft serve so far? Doesn’t anyone get a raging hard-on in this movie? And now they cuddle. I’d also like to point out that the prince has real fancy belt on. Moments later the pair are grinding. It’s kind of weird and I feel like I’m intruding. Here’s the DL: Herc’s trying to get hard again, Prince whimpers. Is he in him? Nope, just grinding. Finally we have some fucking! The prince is a total bottom bitch and Herc fucks his hole raw, pulls out and shoots another copious load. He even got jizz on the deer skin rug. Who’s going to clean that up? A+ for stamina Hercules!

I forgot what the prince was sent to do when this happens. They are NOT going to get it on for a third time! Wait! The thirst is real for this prince as he starts sucking on Hercules rod again. Needless to say the audience is treated to another dispassionate blow, another creamy load down the prince’s throat. That’s a lot of cum and the sheer amount Hercules has produced in such a short period of time is pretty hot actually.

Hercules must be so tired. The prince really “took it out of him” and it’s off to dreamland. Next thing ya know he’s bound in chains and shackles. Did the prince slip him a Mickey? King Creeper is back and gloating over his prize. He whips and flogs Herc while the prince and one of the kings boys start to get it on while he watches. I’m sensing the prince probably has a thing for Herc or vise versa, but I could be wrong.

This cocksucker with the dark hair and ‘stache is pretty sexy. Check out those chops!

There is too much soft serve in this film.

As we continue our adventure, viewers will be treated to some passionate osculation followed by more sucking at the feet of the king whilst Herc looks on. These guys love grinding and the old dude is contentedly jerking off to this. He’s truly got a greedy gullet, that prince. He really gets to it on the slave boy, who is cute, but I thought he’d have a bigger cock. It also looks like the king’s advisor dude whom we met earlier has joined the party too to jerk off as well.

Now this is the guy I’ve been waiting for. Finding Hercules bound and chained, a little muscle lad walks right up and likes what he sees. He immediately begins worshiping Herc with his hands and mouth. As he is going to town on the subdued giant, the creepy-ass adviser guy just lifts up the youth’s loin cloth and slips his dick in. How rude, but Little Muscle Lad doesn’t care. Prince unleashes his white lava in the slave’s mouth as this fuck-fest continues on the floor. Time for a cum swap! The Erotic Adventures of Hercules has more loads blown directly into mouths than any other film I’ve seen in a while. What I mean is the spunk is literally sucked out of the guys, no jerking off to finish, just dick in mouth. Back to Herc’s neck of the woods; the adviser unloads his contribution and Muscle Lad doesn’t even care. He’s too busy milking Herc’s cock until he explodes.

There is a lot of cum in these guys’ mouths.

Now for a threesome! Mustache Boy fucks Muscle Lad, who sports some nice foreskin in a fleshy roll about, at the feet of the king and Mustache Boy cums after pulling out. It’s a decent fuck to watch, and my only issue was that it was too bad the Muscle Lad didn’t cum. I was really hoping for that.

To finish things up I’ll make this brief. Everyone is passed out and Hercules (with the help of the gods) unchains himself to exact his revenge. He slaughters everyone, even the prince who I believe thought Herc loved him and would take him away before he met his fate. Oh, and Herc kept that belt?

Since The Erotic Adventures of Hercules is only available on GayHotMovies.com, you should really head on over and watch it. I’m so happy I got to review such an off the wall classic and share it with you. Remember to follow me on Twitter and Tumblr too!

Catch ya later cum catchers

-The Otter

Toes, Underwear, and Skaters…Ooh-La-La!

Wednesday, July 1st, 2015

There is one fact that is true of every scene included in Ducati Porn’s Skater Fucks—this is not soft and sweet porn featuring dreamy pretty boys….this feature is for those who want their XXX action with a bit of kink and edge. From inked up submissive bottoms to all-out indulgences in wild foot fetishes, this Peter Romero-directed flick doesn’t hold back with embracing its bold freak streak. This movie is sure to satisfy those with an appetite for alternative content.

For proof, look no further than the opening scene, which features Trenton Ducati and the heavily-tattooed and pierced Dane Ryder. The kinky love of underwear and rugged boots take center-stage in this match-up, when Trenton finds Dane worshiping some of his items in the living room. “There’s my fucking boots, you little pig!” Trenton exclaims, as Dane rubs underwear passionately against his face. Dane replies that he was cleaning Trenton’s boots and, unconvinced, Trenton replies, “If you’re going to fucking clean them, clean them really good.” This leads to Trenton grabbing the back of Dane’s head as he licks all over the boot. From there, Dane sucks on Trenton’s socks while the boot is shoved into his crotch. Following this is lots of spitting and lip service to Trenton’s big cock. After, they get down and dirty in a hard, hair-pulling fuck. This scene is a strong choice to kick things off, as it wastes no time with serving viewers with jizz-dripping action for those that have a thang for these special fetishes.

And as if the first scene doesn’t do the trick, the second scene picks up where it leaves off. This time, Trenton teams up with the well-hung Devin Dixon, who stars as an eager shoeshine man who can’t wait to get to work. While he is initially creeped out by Devin’s enthusiasm, things take a turn when Devin slides off Trenton’s shoes to light his fire at the sight of his socks. Devin can’t resist from taking off the socks to get a taste of Trenton’s toes and eventually, Trenton gets turned on and joins in. They suck each other’s thick meat sticks and get off in another serious hole-hammering session. There’s never a dull moment from the time that these guys step in front of the camera with each other and keep the momentum going.


But the unapologetic dive that Skater Fucks takes into the world of various fetishes isn’t the only positive aspect of the film—in fact, this characteristic of the film would not be brought to life if were not for the engaging cast. This fact is best exemplified in the next scene, which has the ripped, hairy and ever-sexy industry vet Nick Capra flaunt his dominance over meat-hungry Aiden Summers. While he is supposed to be painting a room, Aiden is in the mood to be stuffed…and he gives into the urge by whipping out a random dildo. When Nick returns to the room to find him getting busy with toys, he decides that he needs to be punished. Nick rolls Aiden on his back, takes a couple of firm slaps across his ass and declares “My puppies behave better than this!” His aggressive persona continues with him spanking Aiden with almost any object he can find, including a ruler and then he jams a paint roller up Aiden’s hole. As all of this goes on, Aiden totally submits to every single part and accentuates the power that Nick  exercises. From there, they suck each other off and end by jerking off and shooting massive loads over their bodies. Although there is no intercourse, what makes this scene effective is the way that both Nick and Aiden commit to their respective roles.

The cast also makes make entertaining contributions in the scene four. After taking a nice jog outside, Felix Warner decides that he isn’t done working out when he heads into the house to find Devin Dixon sleeping. He wakes him up and they began roughhousing…which of course, turns innocent fun into naughty activity. There are toe fucking, blowjobs, and intense rimjob from Felix to Devin which feels totally realistic because both stars seem genuinely into their scene together. Clearly enjoying themselves, they head to the living room, where they are discovered by Trenton. Infuriated by their disrespectful actions, Trenton feels the best way to handle the situation is to punish each of them, which he does by demanding that they lick his boots, worship his feet, and take turns sucking his cock. Much like scene four, everyone stays true to what they are meant to embody, as Trenton makes bitch boys out of Felix and Devin, and each comply with no complaints. After lots of fetish-centered and oral acts, each guy relieves their stiff, cum-filled cocks with three major loads that cover the boot, the perfect touch for the film’s show-stopping scene.

The closing of Skater Fucks does not contain a story like the others, nor does it explore any particular kinky tastes, but it still ends the movie on a strong note. Trenton and Dylan Knight share a one-on-one lustfest that oozes with subtle chemistry. It may not venture left field like its predecessors, but still gives the viewer some steamy action.

Though it may not be one of the most over-the-top experimentation of fetish-oriented material that is out there, Skater Fucks still holds itself up nicely in all of its simplicity. With the combination of the colorful cast and enjoyable caliber of the sex scenes, it solidifies itself as a great watch from start to finish. To check it out for yourself, watch Skater Fucks now!

And on that note, I bid you farewell. Make sure to follow me on Twitter for all of my latest updates!

-  Simba

3 Reasons Why This Phat Dick Workout Will Make You Sweat!

Wednesday, June 24th, 2015

GOOD LORDDDDDDDDDDD!

This is the phrase that I repeated to myself through the entirety of Next Door Studios’ massive meatfeast, Phat Dick Fitness. A jaw-dropping fuckapalooza that delivers shameless man-on-man action at every moment, the film certainly lives up to its title, brought to life by some of the industry’s sexiest and most well-hung tops. Released under the Next Door’s Ebony division, Phat Dick Fitness also triumphs for predominantly featuring actors of color, a rarity to find in productions from major porn companies.

Without a doubt, if you have an appetite for gigantic schlongs and hardcore hole-pounding, Phat Dick Fitness should be added to your watch-list as soon as possible. To best exemplify why, I have summed the reasons down to three main highlights that prove that this movie is one not to be missed.

1. That Title Don’t Lie, Baybeh!

All on its own, the title of this flick indicates what type of ride you’re in for as soon as you hit the play button. Sure to satisfy the pickiest of size queens, there isn’t a single scene that is without a big, juicy pipe that will leave you clutching your pearls. But even more important is the fact that these gorgeous hornballs know how to use what they’re working with. Outside of the literal combination of huge dicks and a very consistent fitness theme, these guys provide sex scenes that burn up the screen with commanding intensity.

The opening scene starring Derek Maxum and Brock Avery definitely sets the tone for what Phat Dick Fitness is all about. The fahn-as-hell Mr. Maxum stars as Brock’s horny trainer who finds a special way to be compensated after their productive session ends. When Brock discovers that he has lost his wallet, Derek makes the first move by boldly asserting, “I know you’ve been looking at my dick all day,” with a firm ass smack. From there, Brock sucks on all his largeness before Derek returns the favor, rims his hole, and hammers Brock mercilessly. The scene is most likely scripted, but it is totally believable as Derek stays true to his convincing role as a bold trainer with ulterior motives…and the major pounding that he unleashes upon Brock is so full of lust and aggression that it makes the scenario even more real.

Another scene that follows through with the promise of the title is in scene two. Krave Moore and his third leg get some special attention from the deliciously tattooed Draven Torres in a one-on-one fuck that emanates electrifying chemistry. These guys are not only two undeniable pieces of eye candy, but their pairing makes for a perfect union. The nasty foreplay they indulge in will leave your mouth watering for the moment they actually get down to business. And when they do, it is scorching. Krave has alllll of the right tools and he doesn’t hold any of it back on Draven in this seriously deep and hard dickdown. As if that wasn’t enough to make this scene a notable one, Draven may be on the bottom, but that doesn’t mean he just lays down and takes it. Unapologetically vocal and dominant throughout their fuck-session, Draven is in full of control of the way he wants to be fucked.  It’s an interesting reversal of power that helps make this one even more of standout. It also brings me into my next overall point about the movie itself.

2. Let’s Give it Up for the Bottoms!

As introduced in the previous section, Phat Dick Fitness is not only noteworthy for its well-endowed fuckers; it also features hungry dick-takers who add just as much fuel to the fire of each scene.

The first being Draven, who certainly makes his presence known in his match-up with Krave More. But the proud ownership of all his bottom-pride continues in scene three, where he takes on two insanely ripped hunks (Marc Williams and Max Chevalier). After worshipping Marc’s lovely physique with Max, Draven sucks both of these guys off to get them up and ready. After some dual blowjobs, Draven has his eager bussy tossed back and forth between Max and Marc who give it to him just as strong as he demands. To put it simply, this is the type of threesome that you want to see on camera, where each person is involved and active, contributing to the general gripping nature that defines this fiery interracial scene.

Though not as verbally assertive as Draven, another star that holds it down for the bottom movement is Damian Brooks. Before we get into the actual sex, we must take a moment to discuss all of the #ASS that Damian is holding back there. In the same ways that your eyes will stretch at the sight at some of the cocks that this movie is filled with, Damian’s Nicki Minaj-esque derriere will attract the same attention. Anyhoo, he teams up with beautiful Brit Tyson Tyler and services his monster uncut cock with enthusiasm. He sucks on it slowly, and passionately enjoys the size and feel. Tyson follows by feeding on Damian’s juicy hole and you can just sense the sexual tension growing more and more extreme as they continue pleasing each other. Finally, Tyson gives in and pounds that bubble butt with ease and Damian takes every inch without any flinching. Despite the fact that both guys are packing lots of body, this scene is one worth mentioning because it’s clear that these dudes are genuinely into it and enjoying themselves.

3. The Sex isn’t the Only High Quality Feature

The last winning factor of Phat Dick Fitness would be that it presents every scene with well-directed sex that truly accentuates the wonderful work that all of the stars perform. Although there aren’t significant sets or changes through all of the scenes, viewers were still be able to appreciate the eye-popping fucking with quality production value and diverse camera angles.

Out of all of the scenes, the one that stands out on the conceptual front would be the threesome that occurs in the final scene. J.P. Richards stars as a rude and pushy club DJ who is auditioning dancers for an upcoming night (Nubius and Draven). After a brief striptease from each of the guys and a blowjob from Draven to Nubius, J.P. grows annoyed with what he’s seeing and decides he wants to show them how it’s done. Frustrated with his obnoxious personality, Nubius and Draven decide to get their revenge with a tag team threeway that helps the movie go out with a bang. Unlike his other roles in the film, Draven shows off his skills as a top, before passing the stage to Nubius who also puts in work with his thick dick. J.P. surely learns his lesson as his ass is passed back and forth, both backstage and then in the actual club at the end of the scene. This closing number is unique from the others because of its entertaining plot line (possibly inspired by Magic Mike?) and pleasant footage from guys doing their thing in the neon-lighted nightclub.

No matter which scene is discussed, Phat Dick Fitness not only works its attractive cast of stars out, but also the viewer with the type of energy that makes for an engaging watch. Whether it’s the hot guys, massive cocks, or limitless fucking, the movie is a knockout in almost every way that it is judged. To check it out for yourself, watch it right now on GayHotMovies.com!

WHEW. I need a glass of water all over again…be sure to follow me on Twitter for all of my latest updates!

Until next time!

-  Simba

Get Down and Show Your Pride

Tuesday, June 23rd, 2015

Pride, like dicks, comes in many shapes and sizes. Any amount will do, but like I always say: Go Big or Go Homo. Show Your Pride, directed by Jake Jaxson for CockyBoys.com, is a collection of scenes that weaves scintillating solos with copulating couples. Interviews let you get up close and personal before getting in the pants of some of your favorite CockyBoys! There is a little something for everyone in the film. What better way to show your homosexual pride than to sling a load in honor of these nine naughty boys? Actually, make it nine loads. I know you have it in you.

First off, we have Jecht Parker. Jecht comes in from the snow and sits himself in front of the fire. He introduces himself and announces that this is his first scene. He begins a tale about his last hookup. Jecht is adorable. His eyes are beautifully flirty, but they do not compare to his bodacious body. Jecht starts stroking his cock and rambles on about what he wishes was actually happening to his penis. “A hot muscular guy sitting on my cock right now,” he says. The interview continues throughout the scene. Jecht is bisexual, but prefers fucking guys because girls are just too needy and demanding. A Fleshjack turns up and gets quite the workout. Jecht sticks his dick in and maneuvers it up and down the shaft of his cock. He takes a moment to fuck it a bit, which is very very hot. Soon after he is spreading his cheeks to give us a treat. “I like to watch myself get off,” states Jecht. The scene transitions to show him in the mirror preparing to bust a nut. He approaches the mirror and faps until he juices himself onto the glass. He rubs his spent dick upon the mirror in satisfaction.

Next up we have the mega-babe Gabriel Clark and the adorable Andrew Elliot. These two are sharing their knowledge of ballet and martial arts. The duo find that they are not unlike each other. They playfully fight until they kiss and Gabriel forces his dick into Andrew’s mouth. “Suck my cock,” states Gabriel. Andrew does in delight and soon after sits on Gabriel’s gorgeous mug. Gabriel fingers Andrew’s hole and then opens him up with a dildo. Andrew then positions himself on the end of a table when Gabriel enters him from behind and pounds his tight, little bum. He pulls his hair and uses his head like a handle. He is flipped and then nailed on his back. The dildo returns for a bit and then Andrew rides Gabriel while jerking off onto Gabriel’s chest. Gabriel tastes the boy’s cum and then pulls one out onto the face of his bottom. They celebrate with a kiss.

Seth Knight is third to show us his pride. He says that he was supposed to be doing his scene with Tommy Defendi, but is instead going to beat his meat for us. Seth is wearing a super cute neoprene harness, while talking about what he likes about Tommy. He goes onto talk about what positions he likes. Things go quiet as he starts to play with his cock. He is positioned in front of a mirror as he begins to fuck himself with a sizable black dildo. He is putting on quite the show. Seth gets in there good and deep before he stands and oozes his semen onto the mirror that is no stranger to the lusty liquid.

Phillip Aubrey and Phenix Saint are first seen lying in bed and catching up like old friends. They haven’t seen each other in five years (read: they haven’t fucked each other in five years). Phenix is quizzing Phillip about how he has changed in that time. The talk goes to how his body has changed and then they strip. The two start to kiss and remove every last piece of clothing. Phillip blows Phenix and then Phenix returns the favor. Then they sixty-nine and get each other nice and hard. Phenix throws a Magnum on and states, “I’ve come prepared.” Phillip replies, “So did I, I’m ready to go.” Phillip’s legs go up and the two go at it. Phillip gets loosened up before turning over and taking it doggy style.  Muscle boy Phillip receives a pounding from the rear and then sits on Phenix’s rock hard phallus. He rides it both while facing forward and backwards. Phillip then rubs one out onto Phenix’s chest before Phenix does the same. His cum geyser blows into the air in quite the impressive fashion.

Trent Diesel is our following man du jour. This scene is silent in stark contrast with the rest of the movie. Trent is wearing a jock strap which he quickly removes. Trent is sitting on a window sill and playing with his asshole. His prick is not yet a priority. His eyes are closed in a way that suggests he is reminiscing about dick of yesteryear. He begins stroking his cock and breathing quite heavily. Trent moistens his digits and reenters. He spits on his dick then strokes it. You can see traffic from a major roadway in the background. Trent begins to simultaneously finger his butt while pulling on his prick. His face is red as he gushes his milk onto his chest and stomach. A train horn blows at almost the same moment. The look on Trent’s face tells the tale of one intensely orgasmic experience. When you’re the one doing the stroking, satisfaction is always guaranteed.

Last, but surely not least, we have my “daddy-lite” Tommy Defendi and the gingerly ginger Kennedy Carter. These two are in a storage room somewhere. The always vocal Tommy is getting some good head from Mr. Carter. It is clear from the get go that these two are pros. Kennedy’s pale ass gives an explanation for why people refer to them as “moons.” It’s beautifully bright white. He is sucking Tommy’s humongous dick like it’s his last meal. He then does the same to his booty. Kennedy kneels on a rolling ladder and Tommy enters him. He takes it from the back and then sits on Tommy and rides as his uncut schlong bounces with the rhythm. Tommy gives Kennedy a reach around before Kennedy takes it upon himself to rub one out while riding Tommy’s mammoth. His abundant cum drips from his dick and meaty foreskin. Kennedy then positions himself to allow his chest to be the canvass for which Tommy will be displaying his masterpiece. He is then doused with Tommy’s presumably tasty juices.

Show Your Pride definitely exhibits gay pride to the fullest extent imaginable. These boys are letting their “super freak” flag fly and are killing it. Take this as some inspiration to take your pride to a whole other level. Rock out with your cock out and show us what you’re made of: Flesh and boner. Be sure to check out Show Your Pride and get a chubby before heading out to NYC pride this weekend! Now go on and get hard at GayHotMovies.com!

There’s more where that “came” from…follow @HairyBurgher

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