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I’ve Got A Serious Fever For Fire Island

Monday, June 8th, 2015

Fire Island Fever: A state of perpetual horniness accompanied by a total lack of scruples.” This is the premise of the iconic film bearing the same title, Fire Island Fever. Premiering in 1979, the picture would catapult the fabled isle into something more than just a destination, it would cement itself into the gay lexicon, and it would change the way we watch pornography in many, many ways.

The season has started; now it’s time to pack it in early for those long weekends away from the office and the city. As the temperatures rise and the canyons of concrete, glass, and steel become unbearable, we all long to get away. Up to the woods for a bear rendezvous? Down the shore for a little gambling? Out on the lake for some boating and fishing? Perhaps the river where one can make a splash from a rope swing, or drift lazily on an inner tube? Then again, don’t you just wish there was a magical island overrun with ready and willing men?

Well, it still exists, and it can be found just beyond New York City. Fire Island has been a summer Mecca for the gay community, perhaps the first of the seasonal playgrounds such as Guerneville on the Russian River in California; Provincetown in Massachusetts; Rehoboth Beach in Delaware; and countless other smaller yet just as charming locals for decades; a place where men can be free from the constricting conformities of society to play and frolic in a world of their own.

If you have never watched Fire Island Fever, you should; if you know of it and have brushed it off, shame on you; if you remember it, revisit it. From the moment the credits began to roll, I knew this classic was going to be a cinematic gem. The soundtrack that manages to meld both the swinging jazz of a bygone era (think credits from an old rom-com starring Carey Grant, or Myrna Loy) with thumping disco beats. Beautifully directed by Jack Deveau, the film takes us on a glittering journey through New York City at Christmas time before we meet the narrator of our show. Garry Hunt plays the part of Jeff, a young man whose career has just taken a turn for the better as a set designer on Broadway. Prepare yourself, there are quite a few references to the bright lights and show tunes. We get the complicated Fire Island lowdown at Frank (Frank Schmitt) and George’s (George Sardi) “Annual Pines Christmas Party” announced by legendary cabaret pianist Johnny Savoy.

Now that we’ve introduced a sampling of the cast, let’s get down to the getting down. Reminiscing about the previous summer, Rick (played by John Carlo) begins the story. He, his boyfriend Ron (Larry Paige), and Jeff have shared a house for the season from Memorial Day through Labor Day. (Seriously, who can afford to spend that much time on an island? Don’t these people have jobs?)

It’s a great house they’ve rented out, pure seventies. I cannot describe how much I enjoy the wood paneling in this place, the spiral staircase, and don’t even get me started on that pool. So a little back story: this was not any easy peasy summer that one would dream about; open relationships spoil like milk in the sun, someone is always fucking around, and then there’s the celibate abstinent third mate. Rick and Ron had started out as a fresh happy couple when they arrived on Fire Island, but soon enough it’s Ron who can’t seem to keep his shorty shorts on! Can’t he see he’s breaking his boyfriend’s heart? Did I mention the soundtrack is amazing? Well, it is.

I’m going to tell you that if one thing in this great big gay world that will never change, it will be brunch. Yes, the time old tradition of the Sunday brunch as perfected by the homosexuals. Paying your weekly devotions to the mimosa gods is also the place to show off last night’s trick, dish about last night’s sexcapade, or work on curing whatever might ail you (wink). It’s also the place you might just find for some afternoon delight. I am not talking about the desert, what I am talking about is Rick getting a little action for himself, and why not? Terry (Chris Michaels) the waiter  is fine, young, fit, and handsome. Go get him, tiger!

Rick does get his wish and as he showers that dirty little spider Ron, in his jealous spitefulness, flushes Ricks supply of “smelling salts.” These were the kind that came in capsule form to prevent breakage and spillage. I thought for sure that box would clog up the pipes.

Needless to say, what will happen next is pretty predictable. Rick dashes off to find more “smelling salts,” leaving the fox to watch the hens literally. Terry is on his way! So it’s no surprise that when Mister Boy Toy arrives, Ron strikes like a hungry tiger. The pair have quite the interlude by the poolside, sucking and fucking with abandon. I am not about stealing other guys’ play things. It’s just not my thing.

Blissfully unaware of what is going down at home, Rick makes his way back on one of the island’s adorable boardwalks. After taking a quick breath of the newly acquired “smelling salts,” he’s ready to go, (take a moment to really appreciate the crescendo in this segment of soundtrack) but when he pears over the balcony he sees just what kind of snake Ron really is. Talk about dramatic. With a “Fuck you, I’m going back to New York!” Rick pushes past the thief in a haughty performance Scarlett O’Hara would be proud of. THIS girl is gone with THAT wind.

But why the hell does Ron get to have all the fun?

Rick finds himself in the shrubbery. You know, one of those fun little thickets full of sandy trails and teaming with wildlife? Well, the wildlife happens to be a sexy, sunglassed stud just waiting in a little alcove for some sizzling summer action. This is a sport not everyone is accustomed to-the cruising of outdoor trails, hiding in the brush (I know I am, and it is a whole new level of slutting it up). Rick and his partner eagerly get to it and soon enough Anonymous blows his load in Rick’s greedy face hole. There is a lot of slurping and gulping in this scene, so if that’s not your thing I suggest turning down the volume. So, turns out this guy is Greg (Hugh Allen) who has no place to stay. So what does Rick do? Invites him to stay with him. Triumphantly, the couple returns to the house where Rick lays down the law. End scene.

 

Back at the party you might recognize who the waiter and bartender are now. That’s right: Terry and Greg. What I also notice about this wonderful holiday get together is the camaraderie of the group. More and more I read about the widening estrangement between older and younger gay men as friends. I love so many of my friends and they all range in age from eighteen to eighty, but there are some ageists out there who only stick with their set. Sad. In Fire Island Fever we catch a glimpse of a time when men mingled as a tight knit group of friends and lovers in a way that we do not see so much of lately. I’d like to see more of that these days.

We travel back to that summer to remember; only it’s Ron’s turn to tell a story. I’m already not a fan, so let’s just see what he has to say. Well, well, well, looks like Rick isn’t such the nice innocent guy he has himself believing he is. Turns out Mister Oh Woe Is Me is a jerk. He’s got the nerve to cut ahead of a couple waiting for a table, behave rudely to Terry, act skeezy when it comes to propositioning him too, and on top of it all, he’s the one who accidentally flushed his own “smelling salts.” I was very impressed with John Carlo’s acting in this scene. Quite frankly, as it added a whole new richness to such a great film.

Terry still showed up (I know I wouldn’t have) and yes, he does end up making it with Ron, but just not the way we think. Ron isn’t really into Terry’s come on’s at first, however, with the sun, a pool, and a waiter this cute, the inevitable is inevitable. The sex is wonderfully shot. No bells and whistles, just sex. Terry straddles Ron’s dick and explodes all over his chest just before the stud pulls his raw cock out to blow. Three words: pretty fucking hot.

Rick must be on something because he never did catch the two in the act, and Terry himself is kind of a bitchy queen himself.

Ron laments about how the parties in Cherry Grove are going to be too camp. I love the lingo being thrown around in this scene. C’mon “Cloche Encounters” as a party theme? Love it! To sum things up: Greg is a douche and Rick is a sucker for him. Terry is going to move in with Ron. Lord, this is pretty weird… I think they might all have been high.

Punctuated again by the incredible soundtrack we move on to our third vacationer: Jeff (Garry Hunt).

Suddenly Jeff has acquired four roommates. As the plot thickens, we find out that both Greg and Terry are moochers and the reasons they hooked up with Rick and Ron were for shady courtesy fucks. Eventually they’re turned into house boys to take care of the cooking and cleaning and such. Something has been on my mind the whole time this has all been going down. How can you afford a whole summer?

Terry quit his job and surprise! he and Greg are fucking now! How sordid, the drama. More slurping, but the incredible little waltzy cha cha music is infectious! The guys do look good in bed 69ing and emptying their balls. Who has laundry duty?

Midway through the summer Jeff is losing it! He keeps sketching the same hard bodied hunk over and over, mysteriously inspired by a poster of Matt Harper (aka Will Seagers) in his room. He ends up jacking to a fantasy of Matt on the sand dunes furiously pumping to an intense disco beat! Matt is a fine looking stud (he even does some weird gum thing? Don’t know….). Soon enough Jeff is splashing himself in man juice. Will does some weird shit with bubble gum and has been stroking himself in the fantasy as well. The men cum simultaneously after which  Jeff licks up some of his own cum pretending that it’s Matt’s.

Trippy, psychedelic things just got weird. Terry has laced the iced tea with a little something something that may or may not come on a small square of paper if you get my drift. In this short segment we see lots of flashy colors and cool sand pyramids. This is some interesting camera work and shots going on I dare say. Jeff has quite a trip. I don’t know if a dip in the water is such a good time.

Having been so overworked prior to his vacation, Jeff is finally learning to have fun again. Time for the last big blow out of the season-Tea Dance! Terry and Greg, having not been invited, take this alone time as an excuse to have some raunchy sex.

Fire Island Fever is really coming together. I’m so impressed with the story, the acting, the quality of the film, and its direction, but things must come to an end.

In our final scene back at the house, Rick and Ron have an altercation and realize that they have been trying to get back at each other all summer and it’s time to make up; they’re still in love. The best part is that as the couple are making up Terry and Greg are listening through the door! Ha, they mention Bette Davis! Are they really going to fuck on the same sheets that Terry and Greg just had?

The couple have some serious hate fucking to do! Which is pretty hot. Rick’s furry hole swallows Ron’s nicely sized prick. Greg and Terry are still listening, and it’s a sexy, realistic scene. There aren’t any insane positions or moves as these guys renew their passion so that the audience can have the closest genital close ups available. It’s a simple, hard, afternoon fuck. Rick grabs hold tight of Ron’s bubble butt as he pushes in and out even faster. This was the scene we have been waiting for! Two big creamy cum shots from two very exhausted purple cocks. Fuck yeah.

Having emerged from their hiding place to witness the epic finale, Terry and Greg pronounce that they are done and that they are moving out! So sad. Bye, ladies.

So summer has ended, the holidays are upon us, and there is just one more burning question I have. Why couldn’t Jeff have had a real life encounter on Fire Island? Well? I’m going to have to leave that a mystery because there is one more surprise at the end of this film you just have to see for yourself.

Annnnd we end on a beautiful rendition of “Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!” I would imagine by The Gay Men’s Chorus.

Get on over to GayHotMovies.com and watch this amazing classic, seriously, you will not be disappointed. Remember to keep cumming back here and follow me on Twitter and Tumblr!

Catch ya later cum catchers,

The Otter

A Shoe Commercial Featuring A Lot Of Hot Sex

Friday, March 27th, 2015

In this plot driven classic of yore, we follow Gavin Geoffrey (the poet and artist Gavin Geoffrey Dillard) as he is sexually awakened to the pleasures of man on man SEX! Films like “Track Meet” from Bijou paved the way for today’s skin flicks we all enjoy. Oh, and it’s a really sexy adidas ad as well!

After training out on the track Gavin is ready to clean up. He’s an all American boy just like all the rest, so needless to say he is NOT impressed when he stumbles upon some sordid locker room antics between his team mates, and no we’re not talking your regular towel snapping horseplay. And it’s written all over his face. Duff Paxton plays a cock crazed jock who can’t get enough sloppy spit soaked poles down his greedy, face fucking, throat. This mustachioed, adidas shod, baseball tee wearing stud spends most of the first scene gobbling down Michael Davis’ meaty uncut cock, even spending some quality time on his furry balls as well. I couldn’t really tell if Michael cums, but I kind of think he busted his load down Duff’s gullet.

*Not impressed*

Still not satiated from his feeding, Duff propositions Gavin for a try… “You might like it buddy?” I’m thinking yes. But alas, he’s all 100%, straight as an arrow, top of the line, H-E-T-E-R-O. Yet this doesn’t deter good ole Duff from reiterating his interest. I might say, that I am not too big of homophobe Gavin at this point, but I will say his acting is pretty convincing.

Time to hit the showers boys! Maybe you shouldn’t have left your jock on the bench Gavin, cause it’s about to get it! This is a nice scene for you nasty crotch sniffers (me included!). Like I mentioned previously, Duff Paxton might just be the hungriest cock sucker out there. As we watch these lads soap up and rid their bodies of sweat, Duff sits back and uses that little cum rag the way it should be. He wraps the straps around his cock and balls, rubs the cloth sack on his head making sure every inch of it has been touched by his tool. By the time Duff finally empties his nuts on the white fabric you’ll be bursting to lose yours too, and if you haven’t you certainly will once you see Mr. Paxton lick up his own load! Precisely as I thought the filthy rag is left where it was found…

On with the story; Gavin and his buddy David  are headed to David’s car. It’s a small snippet of plot, but there is something mentioned that I have to bring up.

Onitsuka’s! I haven’t thought about those since we carried them at a shop in San Francisco I worked at! That’s right! Gavin is discussing his recently purchased kicks. Told you this was basically a dirty adida’s ad.

This looks promising, what could possibly happen to our little closet case? The real gem of a moment in this scene might not even be the cum shot, it’s a cameo by Sherri Roberts. What a name, Sherri Roberts really does sound like a Sherri, her accent is that AMAZING. Something I must wonder, where did they find the ladies for the awesome walk on roles in the 70’s? Were they someone’s best gal pal? Perhaps Sherri is still around I I could interview her? Playing the role of the pregnant housewife, Sherri steals the show with her FANTASTIC accent and first attempt at a coffee cake. Two other highlights, A) I don’t buy that first attempt at a coffee cake lie from little Miss Betty Crocker. PAAAHLEEEEEEASE! B) That coffee pot!

Moving right along… Gavin’s brother’s friend, whom he is helping painting, is pretty darn woof worthy. Don Ranger looks like the kind of nerd-hot, lumber jack, barbeque pro I could bury my face in. He’s got a nice fit body and looks damn fine in his Levi’s. Things escalate quickly after the pair return to work. Hardly protesting, Gavin lets Don slide down his pants and begin sucking his confused cock. Soon enough Don releases his own *gasp, I almost came, what a beauty* gorgeous uncut cock working his length whilst giving his helper one hell of blowjob. The scene is punctuated with shots of the slightly ajar door and Gavin’s worried face adding a nice element of suspense. Unfortunately Gavin doesn’t really explode all over Don’s mustache like I was hoping, but Don certainly busts a lovely nut out of his thick, pulsing, hard, and hooded schlong of perfection. That’s just my opinion; we all know how much this otter loves his guys intact.

A white van with the track team aboard is making its way somewhere. Once again we’ve got some great classic rock playing. What BAD boys! fondeling and blowing each other on the ride. Of course it’s Duff Paxton again doing the suckin… He cannot get enough dick! Once again poor Gavin has to witness his teammate going down on another. My question is when are he and Duff going to fuck? So here we have our first anal scene of the film, it’s about time too!  That greedy cum guzzler Duff slips right onto his anonymous buddy while simultaneously whispering sweet nothings into Gavin’s ear who is seated in front of him. A quick move from ass to mouth and it is glorious. This a must see scene, creative I do say, and the cum shots are EXPLOSIVE. Oh, and all that spunk in Duff’s stache is pretty too!

*One question, how did no one not smell the scent of sex in that overheated crowded van, or smell those loads of spunk? 

Set in a hotel room is “Track Meet’s” most well known as well as most scandalous segment. Gavin is about to find out what it’s like to have his cherry popped, but it is by no means the way I had thought it might play out. I shall introduce the players; in the (pretty decent) hotel room we find a freshly showered Gavin, and an unnamed Janitor. After some general small talk the conversation escalates to some unsolicited groping followed by physical incursion. Bound with towels the unwilling youth finds himself overpowered by his soon to be top. Grabbing an infamous jar of Vaseline to lube up and give Gavin a most uncomfortable appearing fingering, this is the type of janitor I’m not sure I want to pop into my room (or ass) or not? Gavin has a seriously furry hole viewers will also notice.

*Just a little side note; I was watching “Mystery At The Museum” the other morning and learned that Vaseline is actually the color of crude oil before its refined, and that dudes who worked rigs would use it as a wonder cure before it was ingeniously marketed by its inventor. Now if only I could make a discovery that would make me rich…

On with the show! As (this performer could be either T.C. Mathis, Peter Williams, or Steve Scott. I have tried my darndest but cannot identify him) works his finger in and out of Gavin I couldn’t help feeling a little sorry for him. On the other hand, his character is kind of a jerk so I’m looking forward to the action at the same time. The janitor wastes no time and is soon pumping his meat in and out of the little track star. (Let’s see you at practice after this!) It’s plain and simple. The janitor has his way with Gavin, busts a load on Gavin’s ass and exits with a warning “Listen, you tell anyone I’m gonna come back and give you more of the same”. This is a scene you just have to watch to believe.

Finally it all comes out! Gavin’s opinion of himself, and his dirty, filthy, disgusting, homosexual tendencies (as the dialogue suggests) are confessed to his best friend David played by Larry Paige. It’s a touching moment between friends, right down to Larry putting Gavin’s cock in his mouth to prove nothing changes right before his girlfriend calls. Well now you’ve done it David. Gavin immediately fantasizes about his buddy and we are treated to a glimpse at what he’s thinking. Set in white there is no sense of time or space, just fucking. There is a lot of oral action as Gavin explores his teammate. I guess his encounter with the janitor earlier that day has primed him for another fucking as he slides himself onto David. This scene is a stark contrast to the previous. Obviously more artistic and intimate it’s also another adida’s ad! There is a great shot of David’s red trainers. Gavin doesn’t ride much longer, soon slips off, and we finally get the shot we have been waiting for. While fist pumping himself he simultaneously jerks off David. Spurts of Gavin’s cum are soon followed by David’s in a beautiful shot that is followed by the now rainbow flag waiving, out and proud, lead of our film licking and tasting the mingled spunk on David’s cock and stomach. It may have been just a fantasy, however it is just what Gavin needed.

“I think everything’s going to be fine!” Exclaims Gavin as the film ends. I think it will too buddy.

*Couple of things I would have liked to have seen. Duff getting his chance to pound Gavin’s hole raw, a scene under the bleachers, and, of course; more of Miss Sherri Roberts character and that amazing hair!

Get your ass on over to GayHotMovies.com and watch “Track Meet” from Bijou. You’re gonna love it.

Remember to follow me on Twitter & Tumblr too!

Catch ya later cum catchers!

-The Otter

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